Settling in Without Tears - Parents Guide
Penny Tassoni MBE is an education consultant, author and trainer. She specialises in the whole spectrum of learning and play. In her book ‘Getting It Right for Two-Year-Olds’, Penny lays out how to settle your children into Nursery.
Starting at a new early years setting can be stressful for children and also for parents. It is important for your child’s later development that they can leave you without getting upset. The speed of settling in will depend on the age of your child, their experiences and also their personality. While settling in may take some time, it is worth it for your child’s development but also for you. A child who is not properly settled is likely to refuse to come in or if they get upset during a session, the nursery may have to call you to come back. For your child to settle in without tears, they need to have developed a relationship with their key person. The following settling in process will help them to do this quickly. There are five stages to helping your child settle in.
Step 1
Your child plays with their key person while you are with them. Once your child is relaxed, try to be less involved, but do not move away.
Step 2
When your child is playing with their key person, you step away a couple of metres to look at something but come back. You will need to repeat this until your child no longer stops what they are doing to look at you.
Step 3
When your child is playing with their key person, you will walk away to be briefly out of sight. You return quickly. Your key person will suggest a good place. You will need to repeat this until your child no longer stops what they are doing to look for you.
Step 4
When your child is playing with their key person, you will tell your child that you need to go out of the room to get something. You will leave and come back straightaway. Do not ask your child if you can go or hesitate.
This step is important as your child needs to learn that you do go, but you always come back. We are also testing that your child is comfortable with their key person. You may need to repeat this step many times until your child can carry on playing.
Step 5
When your child is playing with their key person, you will tell your child that you are going out but will be back shortly. At first you will leave for five minutes and then come back. You will then do it again for 10 minutes or longer if the key person suggests it.
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